My life has taught me a strange lesson: I am really bad at creating my future. For reasons that go beyond skill or effort, I suck at choosing a destination and then arriving there. Somewhere along the journey, “life” always seems to happen and I’m left scratching my head.
This can be depressing if you look at it in that way, as most people do. But we’re missing something– you don’t lose anything when you imagine a future that never becomes a reality. A lot of times when we “fail” at a goal, we feel like a family member died even though nothing changed. Why?
The answer is that I (and you!) put a lot of energy into our goals. Sometimes we think we “own” our future and build attachment to it. How silly. Goals, in reality, have no value – if they crumble, nothing was lost because it never existed to begin with.
I became aware of this long ago, but I continued to ignore it. Now there are so many complicated future plans in my life that I can never attempt to sort them all out. The only option is to give up completely: I have declared “future bankruptcy” in the sense that I am forfeiting all my rights to my future and absolving myself of all debts to that future.
So, I have forfeited whatever future I may have been wanting. But of course, if you read above, you’ll know that I’m not really forfeiting anything except an irrational attachment to an illusion.
This is quite a relief, actually, because much of my past was spent in the future (that sounds really complicated). I would work all day towards a goal and spend all night dreaming about it. I continually moved towards a horizon that dissolved before I arrived. In that process, I missed out on the only thing that was real: THIS.
With that baggage gone, I feel a lot better. I have no future (haha), but I have a pretty decent present.